The Finals Week Blues

I always get this way around finals.  Completely bummed and not able to bring to the surface any desire to do ANYTHING.  I get completely overwhelmed by any and every thing.  It's not that I am sad that another semester is so to be past, it's that it can not be finished soon enough.  I want to go home so badly right now.  I don't want to study Spanish anymore.  I gave up on trying to get an "A" in Research Methods.  My Abnormal Psychology class is a joke.  I am a senior in college.  This blows.  Isn't college supposed to be the best time of your life?  I am constantly swamped with paving my way to the future while my present is spent in constant anxiety and irritation.  I have no tolerance for things that I think are a waste of my time.  Due to that, this semester has been horrible to barrel through.  I want to be a Mental Health Counselor and I chose a university that only offers ONE undergraduate class in that area.  Ugh.  I don't want to do research.  I have no interest and no talent what so ever in that area and yet I am forced to take two classes in which I have done well in both but could not tell you a thing I have learned.  What a waste of time and money.  I am twenty one years old.  I should be at my prime.  Instead,  I am thirty pounds over weight, constantly stressed out, and not having fun at all.  I am doing what I am suppose to be doing.  I'm not getting in trouble.  I am on a path to success.  Why does this suck so bad?  Will it get better once I graduate or will that then be even worse?  I always look down on those who choose not to go to college and are seemingly doing nothing with their lives but could they be right?  Living life to the fullest right now?  Or is that even life to the fullest?  Temporary highs and living at home with their parents?  Ugh.  I just want to be doing what I want to be doing with my life.  Taking classes about things that I care about with GOOD professors.  Not ones who tell you you don't need to buy the book and "lecture" off of a Word document.  This semester seems like a rip off.  One more stinkin' week.

This is such a negative post.

I am grateful to be in college.  I am grateful for the great friends that I have made here.  I am grateful for my amazing church and the awesome people in it.

I just feel like I am in a rut.  That is why I moved away from home, because I felt like I was in a rut.  Now I'm in another one.  

I really miss theatre.  I acted in a student film project these past couple of weeks.  It was really tiring and tedious but it was so much fun.  I really miss being around theatrically creative people.

Ugh.

Two semesters until graduation.  I can do this.