The perfect song of the moment.

Earlier today I was trying to write a poem.. and then it turned into a song about how I felt about this certain situation.  Then I figured that it would probably be easier if I found a song that someone else wrote.  It is now 4 in the morning and after a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggg night playing Texas Hold 'Um and diving into my career by talking to someone about things in their life and after that torturing myself with the past, VH1 happened to play the perfect song.  Here it is:

Adele - Chasing Pavements Lyrics

I’ve made up my mind
don’t need to think it over
if I’m wrong i am right
don’t need to look no further
this ain’t lust i know this is love

but if i tell the world
I’ll never say enough
cos it was not said to you
and thats exactly what i need to do
if i end up with you

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

i build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

or should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

yeaaah ehh

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere
or would it be a waste
even if i new my place should i leave it there

should i give up
or should i just keep on chasing pavements
should i just keep on chasing pavements

ooooohhh

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where

Communication

Communication is the fuel of relationships.  Recently I have been having issues with communication with my loved ones.  I am not perfect at communication by any means but I know what it takes.  Knowing what it takes doesn't necessarily mean that I do it correctly at all times, but it does help enormously.

Here are some communication rules to follow:

-Don't wait.

Tackle the problem head on.  The longer you wait the more likely you are to resent the person in which you are upset with.

- Swallow your pride

99.9% of the time the issue isn't black and white.  There is almost always grey area.  You have played a part in this issue as well.

- Admit you are wrong first and apologize for it.

Admitting you are wrong first opens the door for the other person to be able to admit their faults.  This also will help them to not feel like the bad guy in the situation.  

- Use phrases like "I feel" instead of "You make me feel"

In all honesty no one can make you feel any way.  You are the one choosing those feelings.   This will also help to not make the person feel like the bad guy.  

- Be completely open and honest.

There is no point in trying to solve a problem if you aren't completely honest and willing to let it all out.  Holding things in or sugar coating them is only going to add fuel to the fire.   The more honest you are the better you will feel and the more likely the problem is to be solved. 

- Say things in a loving way.

Although I am a firm believer of not sugar coating the truth that doesn't mean to use harsh words or attack.  It means being honest.

We are all adults....

If we are all adults, then why don't we act like adults? Our parents don't even act like adults so is there even any hope for us? And with that, what is an adult? Dictionary.com says that an adult is : "having attained full size and strength; grown up; mature: an adult person, animal, or plant." Grown up; mature these two adjectives are what I think most of us think of when we use this term. If we are so grown up and no one else is, who is the standard of adult? Is adulthood a level that can be reached and plateaued at or does it come in spurts? Is being grown up the peak of this mountain of life that we are climbing or is it the breaks we take along the way?

2:30 AM and I should be studying.

So I look at people like Syesha who is on American Idol and Ande and Kelly who are having a baby probably right at this moment and I think... "Am I missing something? These really exciting things are happening to people and I am stuck at home studying for finals. LAME!" I am seriously so grateful to be in school though. God has blessed me soo much this year...

I was just looking at someone's profile from back home... and I was thinking about how much I am glad that I am not like them.. I know I'm a really nice person.

I have really tried hard to:
Be constantly moving forward and growing.
Not waste my time.
Only date someone who I can see myself marrying.
Do the right thing aka sin less (haha).

So.. Now this is reminding me of the song "I Asked the Lord"... the line "So I envied the arrogant, then I saw their destiny." (This not pertaining to Syesha or Kelly and Ande.. Just wanted to make that clear) I'm not better than anyone obviously I am very aware of this. We all stuggle.. but.... EHHHHH!! I'm bored. I think it might just be this week. Finals suck. I really should be cramming right now, but instead I am writing this.

I am seriously so blessed. I don't know. I just feel like..... My life is kind of stagnant compared to some people around me. Which is fine. It's just like Syesha is doing American Idol... I wish I was doing something with my voice. It kills me. And then Ande and Kelly are having the baby. Duh. Obviously I'm not in that place in my life... but it would nice to be on the track there you know? I'm just frustrated. It's w/e.

Sorry.. this blog is really random and anyone (if anyone) that reads it probably won't be able to understand it. :-\

Living a righteous life.

Lauren's life as of late has been such an inspiration to me. It is amazing to see how much God is working in her life. I have been in such a battle with my Christianity this past year. I backslide every other week. Of course I know that no one is perfect and we all sin, but I know in my heart that I want God to be the center of my life. I fall away from that so quickly. Again, I know this is the case with everyone, but I really want to make a change. I have decided to take things one day at a time. Doing this with putting focus on God has really opened my eyes to my sin. I have been feeling a lot more convicted lately which I am so thankful for. Anyway, last night at RUF Ande talked about how God loves us because he does. SURPRISE! It's so hard to understand this! How could anyone love me that much! You know? He talked about how we try to do good things to make God love us, but God loves us without those things. This talk made me think about living a righteous life. Because God loves us because he does, does that mean we shouldn't try to live righteously? This question was answered when I was reading my Bible last night.


Romans 6:1-2

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?


Romans 6:14-25

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I wasn't to do I do not do, but what I hate to do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

He is risen indeed.

I am so blessed that I am a chosen one. The Lord continues to bless my life everyday. I am so thankful that He has opened my eyes during this dark time and opened doors. I am so grateful for this beautiful Easter Sunday. Today is the one year anniversary of the day that I gave my heart to the Lord. This year has not been easy by any means. It has been a constant struggle, but I wouldn't take it back for anything. Praise Jesus for paying my debt. I pray that I will need Him more and more as each day passes. HE IS RISEN! He is risen indeed. Praise be to God.

The Week after Palmer Home

So I am super excited that I found a blog where I can post pictures! Last week was Spring Break and I went with my college group to Palmer Home in Columbus, Mississippi. It was my very first missions trip. It was a very wonderful yet challenging experience. The little girl in my picture is Kristin. Her and I really hit it off. She is a really sweet little girl and now we are pen pails (via e-mail). The trip is probably exactly what I expected it to be. I kind of expected to be working a lot more but I think what we put in is probably all I could take. Every day we would wake up around 7:30, although at the end of the week is was more like 7:55. We would head to a home cooked, country breakfast at 8 and around 9 o'clock we would head off to work. I was assigned to work in the thrift store that's funds went straight to the children. We spent 1 1/2 days at the store in Columbus and the rest of the time at the store in Starkville. All of us girls loved the Starkville store because it was much smaller and more intimate. We had so much fun there. We got so much accomplished at the end of the week. It was an amazing sight to see when most all of the clothes we had been sorting through were hung up and put out on the floor. It was incredible how big the room we were working in was when there wasn't piles and piles of clothes covering every inch. I really enjoyed this trip. I got to get to know some people in RUF a lot more, I got to experience serving others, and the weather was absolutely beautiful. I also learned a little about photography while I was up there thanks to Shea and Anne.